I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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