Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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