If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
