wrigley field is MILF paradise
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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