and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
