hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
