Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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