so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize