an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
false alarm, still single
Randomize
