Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
