just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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