I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize