Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
