Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
