Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
