Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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