sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
