i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
