You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
they need to just BURY HIM!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
