...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
