dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
