Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
