I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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