Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
