oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
