I CAN MOONWALK!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
