Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize