My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
