ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I had to cum in my sink.
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