He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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