It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
