i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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