I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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