Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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