I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
