I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
