are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
smell my finger.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize