I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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