at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
