He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
