whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
