Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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