So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Couch. On fire.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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