he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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