As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
