My sheets look like a crime scene.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sext me about skeletons
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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