There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
