it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
