The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
