And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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