I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Randomize
