Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
