party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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