i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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