I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
