i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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