I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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