Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
