I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
