you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
